Why I stopped blogging

I'm starting this post in mid May after I've really had some time to reflect and realize that the reason I stopped blogging not just one thing. I'm going forward with posting it because I think some people feel like they are owed an explanation & I would like to share my thoughts/process with you.
(I sporadically added and edited this post over the following months leading up to posting it.)

Why I stopped initially -

• Just to get this out of the way, it's not because I "grew out of" or stopped wearing Liz Lisa or Japanese fashion. I don't consider wearing Jfashion a requirement to blog nor blogging a requirement if I continue to wear it.

• To put it simply, I felt sad. The things I had in general no longer made me happy. There were some external factors, but bottom line - I just felt sad and I really didn't want to fake being upbeat on the blog and on social media. So I made the decision to take a giant step back.

• Tbh (and I realize how immature and selfish this sounds, but it's really honest) I wondered if I would be missed. For some reason, I felt like my content wasn't really being appreciated comparable to the amount of effort I put into it and I just wasn't convinced it was worth it to continue to expend my time and energy towards something with so little impact.

• Feeling competitive / drawing comparisons / feeling inadequate with other people online. This is a ridiculous thing and I know it, but I couldn't stop myself. I had been feeling that way for several months leading up to me stopping blogging. It encouraged me to step up my content a little bit, but ultimately was more degrading than motivating. The only way I could figure out how to avoid feeling that way was to create distance with the source. It doesn't solve the root of the problem, but it didn't hurt either. 

• Feeling materialistic. I felt like I had too much stuff. I felt overwhelmed with it (probably related to the sad tbh) and just wanted to get rid of it. I know that I used blogging as an excuse to keep a bunch of things I didn't really need or even necessarily want just because I could possibly use it as a coordinate option. Without the pressure to share what I was wearing and the different kinds of ways it could be styled, I was more free to reduce the volume of clothes in all sorts of random different genres, especially whatever was redundant or too specialized.

• I also just wanted to be less accessible. I don't know if this makes sense, but I wanted to keep certain things closer to home and I didn't want everyone or maybe even a few specific people to have access to me since my blog and Instagram posts are largely public and can be searched. 

There really wasn't just one specific reason, but rather a feeling that put a thought into my head and other factors to help back it up. There was just more reasons to stop than to continue, or that's how I saw it at the time.
I didn't want to post a goodbye message because I wasn't sure how long the "break" was going to last (don't want to seem wishy washy if I didn't end up quitting), but also because I didn't want questions or comments on the situation. I wasn't ready to entertain anyone's opinions on it or to be encouraged or discouraged. I just wanted to make the decision and not have any obligations either way.

Why I continued the hiatus -

• After being a couple months in, I realized I enjoyed having my free time back. As many times as I've said it, I'll say it again - Over the past several years, I spent 80% of my non-working hours on blogging-related activities if there wasn't a specific obligation I had to do (for example - family events/errands, church, etc). If I wasn't actively blogging by photographing, editing or writing, I was "researching"/browsing/shopping or trying to come up with ideas or inspiration.
  When I first stopped, there wasn't much for me to do in place of that blogging busy work, and I wondered if that was going to throw me even farther into a gloom, but luckily I had something that ended up quickly distracting me. Eventually, I found ways to occupy the void and was happy to have the freedom/free time to pursue anything I wanted.

• As of the day this is being published, I don't have an entirely new hobby, but I do spend a lot of my free time just relaxing, doing household chores and tidying, rearranging, etc or just generally hanging out with my bf who also doesn't have an overwhelming amount to do (but also the same work schedule as me so we're off at the same times).

• I wanted/needed to save money. I really don't want to get into the details, but basically a lot of my blogging involved spending. Whether it was shopping (for jfashion items) or going on trips, I essentially needed to spend money in order to have content. I had an occasional post that utilized only items I already owned, but in trying to keep up with 6 full posts a month, if I wasn't shopping at all, the content would be severely affected. NGL, as much as I wish it didn't, blogging did encourage my shopping/spending habits, and I wanted to cut back on that kind of needless spending a LOT. (This isn't to say that I lost control of my budgeting or went into debt because of blogging or anything like that, but just that in general, I wanted to spend less because I had new priorities.)

• This blog just isn't needed as much anymore. Liz Lisa seems to have been reaching out to foreigners more; there are official resources in English, even the tokyokawaiilife.com site is working out reasonably well alongside the eBay store (also in English) - both shipping directly overseas now.
  There also developed a fair number of more popular and higher energy bloggers who I think relate to their audience a lot more than I do ( I admit I had put very little effort into audience engagement because it feels too contrived for me) + they also make more purchases, and therefore are more informative than I could ever be. Blogging and posting about Liz Lisa items was no longer as niche as it was back when I started (at least it seemed to me). There will continue to be someone out there who can do what I used to - but better, and I feel very comfortable knowing that.

Or perhaps I'm just lazier now. Ultimately, the pros of continuing the hiatus much outweighed the cons for me. (See below.)

Why I considered coming back -

• I love attention :\
  There has always been something particularly rewarding about getting (positive) feedback from other people - especially strangers who have no obligation to like or compliment you. As asinine as it is, I simply loved the attention that came with sharing the favorite portions of my life to a small, engaged audience.

• I had enjoyed connecting with others who had similar interests. I don't really have anyone IRL who I can chat with about jfashion stuff or just really fashion in general. When I was still posting, I was constantly inspired by others - not just with outfits/coordinates but also their drive and spirit. There are people I know in my personal life who are that way as well ofc, but there's something that somehow aligns a little bit better when you also have the same shopping habits as others lol.

• Related to above, I always said I wasn't really part of it [the jfashion/Liz Lisa community]. I guess because I didn't want to feel an obligation towards anything in particular or to necessarily be associated with the negativity that I always hear about, but I was at least on the outskirts. But there was something to be missed about the sense of camaraderie and being able to discuss and get excited about new releases and seeing big purchases.

• I became happy again.
  When I was "less sad", I started checking the blogs and online shops again. I wanted to shop. I sold a lot of my wardrobe, so even though I wanted to save money, I had a little wiggle room for the occasional frivolous purchase within reason. Sometimes I really wanted to post about an item I was particularly excited or disappointed with - to share my opinion and have a discussion with other customers about it. Basically, once I found myself in a better mental space, I considered taking a dive back into social media/blogging.

Obviously, I never really came back, but I did scratch the itch (so to speak) by working on  posts like this in my spare time.

Do I have regrets?
No and yes. I don't regret the actions I took, but I know that I could have done them in a better way. I do feel like I did what was right for me and the results of that speak for themselves. This year, I generally felt better about myself and was more engaged with my irl friends and family. I have a lot less clothes, but don't feel stressed about managing them all and wondering whether it's excess to the point of harm. Storage isn't a problem and I don't struggle to find room in the closet (as much as before!). Afaik, many people I sold to were happy to see the items available for sale, and I'm glad they are in new homes.

Meanwhile, how have you all been? I had been checking into my social media accounts very sparingly in the first half of the year but removed myself almost completely in the second half. Hope you've been well and I'm glad to have your readership after a long year.

P.S. Check out my new post ["My 2018"] for what I've been up to this past year.